


you give me strength but you're my biggest weakness

by TopazGotTheJuice



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hallucinations, I'm Bad At Tagging, big fuck you to evelyn and edgar evernever, cheryl got TOOK, inspired by the 3x20 promo, read the notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-23 21:07:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopazGotTheJuice/pseuds/TopazGotTheJuice
Summary: “this isn’t real this isn’t real.” cheryl mumbled as she continued to fight. her vision started becoming clear. there was a stain glass window. she was still in the farm. “toni. toni.”“edgar she waking up! hurry!”edgar stabbed her arm with the needle and pushed the syringe down.“no. no. no.” cheryl tried to fight it. she tried to keep her eyes open, and her limbs moving. but everything became too heavy. her eyes fell closed and once again everything went black...-cheryl and toni were this close to breaking out of the farm but cheryl got caught and told toni to leave without her. edgar and evelyn try to break her by giving her hallucinations about her biggest fears. her biggest fear, losing toni.-a sad ass choni fic that literally came out of nowhere





	you give me strength but you're my biggest weakness

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was heavily inspired by the 3x20 promo, and cloak & dagger episode 2x06 (promo linked below)
> 
> not gonna lie, this fic is sad. so enjoy :))))
> 
> (TW: physical and mental abuse. kidnapping. needles. mention of blood)
> 
> link to cloack & dagger 2x06 promo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euIRLu8ROPo

_“so if everyone would raise your glasses in the air.” veronica said as she stood on the stage of la bonne nuit. “to cheryl and toni, we wish you many years of nothing but love, happiness, and hopefully some little rugrats soon. to the future mrs. and mrs. topaz-blossom”_

_the sounds of glasses clinking echoed through the room over the light ambience of jazz music._

_cheryl and toni, whose arms were wrapped around each other as they have been at every event they’ve attended for the last 6 years, clinked their glasses together and took a sip of the champagne._

_“i love you so much future mrs. topaz-blossom” toni said low enough for only the two of them to hear as the guests around them mingled._

_“i love_ **_you_ ** _so much future mrs. topaz-blossom.” cheryl trailed her trimmed scarlet red nails up toni’s back and gently wrapped her fingers around the back of her neck. she leaned down the small distance and wrapped her lips around toni’s bottom lip. they breathed each other in before pulling away slowly with a quiet smack._

_“i just can’t believe how happy i am. it almost doesn’t seem real.” cheryl said trailing her fingers up and down the back of her neck._

_“well believe baby, cause in two week you and i will be officially married. i can’t wait to start the rest of my life with you.”_

_cheryl’s lips curled into smiled and she responded by leaning forward and placing a sweet kiss to toni’s nose._

_when they pulled away toni looked around at all their guests. everyone was there. all her best friends. the former and current serpents and pretty poisons all mingling and getting along. some of her friends from work. her grandfather, even her parents came down from new york to be here for their joint bridal shower. as she was looking around she saw a figure coming down the stairs and squinted her eyes. cheryl followed her line of sight and sported the same expression as penelope blossom dramatically descended the stairs into the speakeasy._

_some of the party attendees stopped talking and they all had eyes on penelope as her heels clacked on each step until she reached the bottom._

_cheryl and toni turned around to face her and held onto each other’s hands in between them._

_“mom.” cheryl said monotonously. “you’re always late.”_

_“i know honey i’m sorry, i had every intention on being on time but i swear your brother and your father take forever to get ready.” penelope explained as she walked towards the couple and engulfed cheryl into a hug._

_“let me guess, they were watching a baseball game?”_

_“you know it” penelope said pulling out of their hug and moving to stand in front of toni. “toni darling, how are you.”_

_“i’m great, thank you.” toni responded with a smile as she hugged the older blossom woman._

_“where’s daddy and jason?”_

_“they’re parking the car, they should be down in a sec.”_

_as if on cue clifford and jason blossom came down the stairs holding two gift bags. cheryl smiles as she watched them enter the party, completely forgetting how they were 45 minutes late._

_“hey jj.” cheryl exclaimed as the blossom men made their way over to the couple._

_“hey little sis.” jason said with a glowing smile as he pulled his twin sister into a warm hug. “sorry were late but the game was just so good.”_

_“it’s okay, you’re here now, that’s all that matters.”_

_“hey toni!” jason said his smile never falling._

_“hey jason.” toni said as she hugged the other blossom twin. as they hugged cheryl greeted her father with a hug before the older blossom man stood in front of toni and placed a friendly hand on her shoulder._

_“toni. you missed an amazing white sox game.”_

_“i know but we kinda had a party to be at.” she said causing him to chuckle. “but i’ll definitely be over for the next game.”_

_“penelope!” penelope turned her head towards the voice and she smiled as mercedes topaz, thomas topaz jr, and thomas topaz III, approached the blossom family._

_toni and cheryl watched on with smiles on their faces as penelope hugged mercedes, clifford gave thomas jr. a firm handshake, and jason and thomas III slapped hands and embraced each other in a bro hug._

_in this moment they were so happy. their families got along so well since the first family gathering on the july fourth holiday 3 years ago, which toni and cheryl were extremely grateful for. their families getting along so easily made it easier for them._

_after the three hour long party toni and cheryl climbed into their black and white range rover, their trunk filled with gifts, and they drove back to thistlehouse. thistle house used to just be a guest house but when they got engaged two years ago penelope gifted it to them and they have been living there ever since._

_“did you enjoy the party baby?” toni asked as she kept her eyes on the road but reached over blindly to take cheryl’s hand in hers._

_“i did, veronica and reggie are really good party planners. and it was so nice to have both our families together.”_

_“i know, i love seeing them all talking and laughing and getting along.”_

_“you know what i love?”_

_“what?”_

_“you... more than anything.”_

_toni cautiously took her eyes off the road to look over at cheryl. she brought her hand up to her lips and placed a gentle kiss to the back of it._

_“i love you too babygirl. so fucking much.”_

_and cheryl just smiled as she looked into the eyes of her future wife. in this moment she was so fucking happy. the happiest she’s ever been._

_just as they turned back around to face the road that happiness turned into complete fear._

_“TONI LOOK OUT”_

_and just before the crashed everything went black..._

...cheryl heard a ringing in her ear. she tried to open her eyes but they were so heavy. she couldn’t move. she opened her mouth and tried to scream but no sound came out. the ringing slowly faded away and she heard muffled voices. it sounded like she was underwater. finally her eyes fluttered open for a second before falling closed again. her vision was too blurry and she couldn’t make out where she was. the muffled voice became clearer.

“it didn’t work.” she heard but her hearing was still a little muffled and she couldn’t make out the voice.

“patience evelyn, it takes time.”

evelyn.

EVELYN.

TONI.

she remembered. she and toni had a plan. they were supposed to escape the farm together. they were so close. so fucking close. but cheryl got caught and begged toni to go with out her and get help. she was so fucking close.

suddenly she felt a hand on her arm. she tried to fight, but she couldn’t move. she tried to scream but no sound came out of her mouth.

no no no.

she felt a piercing pain in the bend of her left arm and it seemed like reality was fading away. she tried to fight but then everything was black.

-

_“cheryl. cheryl!” the redhead heard her voice being called and a hand shaking her by the shoulder. her eyes fluttered open and she was staring straight into the eyes of a somewhat frantic toni topaz._

_“baby get up we gotta go. now!”_

_cheryl sat up quickly with a somewhat confused look. she was in a hotel room. she looked at toni as she was quickly stuffing clothes into a duffle bag._

_“cheryl move your ass!”_

_“toni? what’s- what's going on?”_

_“cops are sweeping this place so unless you wanna get caught i suggest you get your ass up!”_

_cheryl stood from the bed and started gathering her things, still confused as to what was happening. she took a second to look around the room. there was a black duffle bag sitting on the extra bed. she knew it was filled with cash. there was a gun on the tv stand. she knew it was toni's but she's never used it. it was for just in case. and the last thing she notice was a cat mask sitting the nightstand. she knew it was hers. she picked it up and placed it in her duffle bag that was also full of clothes._

_“got everything?” toni asked._

_“i- i think so?”_

_“did you check the bathroom? babe we can’t leave anything behind!” toni snapped._

_“i'll check!” cheryl snapped back. she ran to the bathroom and grabbed the toothbrush that she knew was hers, as well as her deodorant, and her tube of red lipstick._

_“shit!” she heard toni yell from outside the bathroom. “baby we gotta go now!”_

_cheryl ran back out of the bathroom and stuffed her items inside her bag and zipped it up. toni put the gun in her harness that was clipped to her jeans. she put on a black hoodie that was long enough to cover the gun and picked up her duffle bag as well as the bag full of money. she opened the window in the back of the hotel room and the couple jumped out. cheryl followed toni as she ran along the back of the hotel. they reached a fence and she ordered cheryl to climb over it first._

_she did with no questions asked. when she reached the other side she heard a heads up from toni before the three duffle bags were being thrown over the fence followed by toni. when she landed on her feet she grabbed cheryl's hand and walked briskly toward the parking lot. they were on the property of another hotel. toni led them to the back of the parking lot as she scoped out the cars._

_cheryl knew what she was doing. she was looking for a getaway car. she always went for the cheapest car she saw, as luxury cars might bring more attention. also because cheaper cars are easier to hot wire._

_toni spotted a 2006 toyota camry and drugged cheryl towards the car. luckily it was 3 am so people were sleeping, and by the time they woke up and reported their car stolen they would be in another state. toni pulled a hanger out of the duffle bag and used it to unlock the door. she sat in the drivers seat and reached over to unlock cheryl’s door and the redhead quickly got inside the car and threw the duffle bags in the back seat. after a couple minutes toni finally started the car and they screeched out of the parking and headed for the highway._

_they had only been driving for about 10 minutes and neither of them have said a word. cheryl had her arms crossed over her chest and eyes locked out the window. toni was the one to break the silence._

_“babe. i’m sorry for yelling at you.”_

_cheryl just sighed and kept her eyes out the window._

_“it’s just- that was really close call, we almost got caught and i just got frantic. i’m sorry.”_

_cheryl didn’t reply. just kept her eyes locked out the window. toni just sighed in response and kept her eyes locked on the road. a couple minutes later cheryl felt toni’s hand on her upper thigh. cheryl slid her hand under toni’s, palm up, and interlaced their fingers. they still didn’t speak a word. after about 30 minutes of driving toni stopped for gas. and for the next hour and a half they rode in silence as they crossed over the new mexico state line. and another 20 minutes later found themselves checking into a small motel._

_once in their room. toni started getting settled, while cheryl just sat in the bed and watched her. cheryl hated this. the same old routine. rob some one or something, then run. rob, run, rob, run. the same thing for the last month._

_this was not the life she wanted for she and toni. they were happy once. but it feels like the minute they were kicked out of the serpents everything changed. toni was ready to leave riverdale and cheryl was happy to go with her. she told her they needed to do one last job to have enough to run away. she didn’t think this would become their life. she didn’t think they’d turn into bonnie and clyde._

_cheryl didn’t even realize she was crying until she heard herself sniff. this made toni forget about what she doing and immediately rush over to cheryl. she kneeled down in front of her and placed her hands on cheryl’s thighs._

_“baby? are you okay?”_

_cheryl just shook her head no._

_“honey. i’m sorry i yelled at you. i didn’t mean to.”_

_“it’s not that.”_

_“the what is it?” toni asked softly as she rubbed her hands up and down cheryl’s thighs._

_“i’m just tired of this toni. i’m tired. i’m so tired. i didn’t want this life for us. i just wanted to be happy. i just wanted you toni. i just_ **_want_ ** **_you_ ** _.”_

_toni stood up and unclipped the gun harness from her waist and set it on the tv stand behind her. before she could even turn around cheryl curled her fingers around toni’s elbow and forced her around and kissed her hard. she pulled toni’s hoodie off and whimpered into the kiss as she desperately pulled toni closer trying to get as close to her as possible but close wasn’t close enough._

_toni pulled away breathlessly and looked into cheryl’s eyes, filled with lust and longing._

_“babe are you okay?”_

_“i just want you as close as possible. please.”_

_without another word toni closed the distance as they undressed each other._

_about an hour later just as the sun was starting to rise, cheryl was laying on toni’s chest, listening to her heart beat. toni was trailing her fingers up and down cheryl’s spine. cheryl was playing with her fingers of her free hand._

_“toni?”_

_“yeah babe?”_

_“i don’t wanna do this anymore.”_

_toni didn’t even have to ask what. she already knew exactly what cheryl meant._

_“and i know i started this back in riverdale but we’re not in riverdale anymore. far from it. i just want to have a life with you, and not have to worry about running, or looking over our shoulder or freaking out every time we hear sirens.i just wanna be happy and start a life with you. we have more than enough, we can stop this. we’re so close to california, we can start over. be normal.”_

_“i know babe. i want that too.”_

_“then let’s have that. let’s leave this life behind. we can get on a train_ **_today_ ** _. and leave.”_

_“okay. okay let’s do it.”_

_“really?”_

_“yes really. i love you cheryl, i just want to make you happy.”_

_“i love you too. so much.” cheryl tilted her head back to kiss toni. toni wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her so she was directly on top of her._

_they were broken apart by a loud banging on the door. toni threw cheryl off of her and they got dressed quickly. toni walked to the door cautiously and looked through the peep hole, and cheryl stool behind her_

_“shit it’s the cops.”_

_“what!? how could they have followed us.”_

no no no this wasn’t supposed to happen. this wasn’t supposed to happen.

_“we gotta go.”_

_toni barely got the words before the door was kicked in._

_“HANDS UP GET YOUR HANDS UP.”_

_toni and cheryl froze and rose their hands above their head as 4 cops barged in, all had guns pointing at them._

no this wasn’t supposed to happen. something is not right.

_“you got a license for that weapon?” one of the cops asked._

_“shit.” toni mumbled under her breath._

no this isn’t right. toni always puts the gun in her bag. something is wrong.

_cheryl started to cry. her heart rate picked up tremendously as she started breathing heavily._

no, not now. not now. something is wrong.

_“cheryl baby just breathe.”_

_“SHUT YOUR MOUTH” one of the cops screamed._

_“she’s having a fucking panic attack!” toni shouted back._

something’s not right. something’s not right.

_suddenly cheryl saw flashes of a dark room and man with a beard. she felt a sharp pain in her arm. she screamed out in pain and lowered her hands to grab at the bend in her arm and fell to her knees._

something’s not right.

_“cheryl!”_

_and it was as if everything next happened in slow motion. toni lowered her hands and turned to look back at cheryl. she heard a cop scream don’t move. toni made her way towards cheryl and one of the cops aimed the gun at her and put their finger on the trigger._

_“toni no!”_

_just as the cop pulled the trigger she heard a loud bang and everything went black..._

_..._ the ringing in her ears was back. she tried to force her eyes open but they were just so heavy. she heard the voices of evelyn and edgar again.

“she’s fighting it edgar.”

“i know that.”

“give her stronger dose.”

“what do you think i’m about to do.”

she tried her hardest to open her eyes but she couldn’t. her fingers twitched. she could move her hands, and she started to roll her hands around in the straps.

“it’s not real.” cheryl mumbled barely audible but she knew she said it.

“it’s not real.” cheryl said her eyes finally starting to flutter open but her vision was so fucking blurry.

“edgar do it now!”

edgar pushed a needle into the bend of her left arm. cheryl tried to fight it. she tried to break out of the straps her wrists were locked in but she got weaker and weaker and then everything was black again.

_cheryl sat on the thin mattress of the twin bed and stared lifelessly at the white wall in front of her. she felt a pinch in her arm but disregarded it. she’s almost become numb to pain._

_the door was opened and sister woodhouse stood there with the complete look of disgust._

_“come on child. it’s time for movie night.”_

_cheryl bent down and adjusted her sock before standing from the bed and following the nun down the dark eerie hallway. she ushered cheryl into the theater and led her to the empty seat in the last row to the far right of the room._

_cheryl sat there staring blankly at the screen. then all of a sudden she broke down. crying quietly in her seat as she was forced to watch a black and white movie about why being gay was not okay._

_she felt another sharp pain in her elbow and she rubbed it over the sleeve of her red sweater as her shoulders shook and the tears flowed down her face and dripped off her jaw._

_she wanted to keep her hope alive. hope that she would somehow get out of here. hope that someone would come to save her. hope that someone cared enough to wonder where she was. but this was her 5th night here and she was started to lose hope._

_here in this moment. cheryl was about to give up._

_just as she bowed her head in surrender the door was busted open._

_“cheryl! are you in here?”_

_she couldn’t believe it._

_“toni?” she said as she rose from her seat._

_“we came to rescue you.”_

_“you did?” and when toni nodded cheryl sighed in relief as she moved towards the girl. she couldn’t believe it. toni came to rescue her. she cared. she really cared._

_she wrapped her arms around toni in a tight hug. she hid her face in the crook of her neck and breathed in her scent. she’s here. she really here._

_toni pulled away and they stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before toni cupped her cheeks and brought her lips down to hers._

_this was their first kiss._

_in this moment cheryl felt safe. she felt calm. kissing toni, right here, right now, felt natural._

_suddenly she felt a sharp pain again in her left arm and saw a flash of a blonde man with a beard._

_she pulled away with a sharp breath._

_“are you okay?” toni asked. worry filling her eyes._

_“yeah i just... you came for me.”_

_“of course i did. now let’s get the fuck out of here.”_

_toni took cheryl’s hand in her own and led her out the door. they turned to the left down the hallway. they ran a few feet before a bunch of nuns came around the corner. they slid to a stop before turning around the other way._

_cheryl felt another sharp pinch in her left arm and saw another flash of a dark room. she stuttered her running and sucked in a sharp breath._

_“cheryl come on, we’re gonna get out of here babe i promise.” toni said desperately as she yanked cheryl’s arm forward._

something’s wrong.

no, this isn’t real.

_they continued running down the hallway as another group of nuns came around the other corner._

_“fuck! this way!”_

_toni turned them around until they reached a door that led to a stairwell. as soon as they opened the door four more nuns appeared form the other side._

_shit._

_they grabbed cheryl and toni and started pulling them apart._

_“toni!”_

_“cheryl! get the fuck off of me!”_

_cheryl saw another flash of the same man._

_edgar._

_and next to him stood a red headed woman._

_evelyn._

no. this isn’t real. this isn’t real.

_cheryl and toni were holding on to each other’s hands tightly as the nuns tried to yank them apart. soon they were too far away to hold on anymore._

_“toni!”_

_“get off me! get the fuck off me!”_

_the nun holding toni wrapped her arm around toni’s neck and held her tightly as toni kept reaching towards cheryl. cheryl kicked her feet and tried her hardest to fight out of their grip._

_“no! let her go! toni!”_

_toni’s arms got weak and it became harder for her to fight back. cheryl saw her eyes rolling to the back of her head._

_they’re killing her._

_no please!_

this isn’t real. this isn’t real.

_toni’s feet stopped kicking and her arms fell to her side. just as her head dropped everything went black..._

_..._ the ringing was back. she heard frantic voices. her eyes were heavy but she fluttered them open. her vision was blurry. she could feel her hands and feet. she was tied down tightly to a leather chair . she tried to break free. she rolled her head from side to side.

“no this isn’t real. this isn’t real. this isn’t real.” she repeated like a mantra.

“edgar it’s not working! she’s fighting it! do something!” evelyn shouted at her husband.

“shut up!” he yelled back. “she may be a fighter but everyone has a breaking point.” he put a needle into a vial and pulled the syringe up, adding a higher dosage of the serum into the syringe.

“this isn’t real this isn’t real.” cheryl continued to fight. her vision started becoming clear. there was a stain glass window. she was still in the farm. “toni. toni.”

“edgar she waking up! hurry!”

edgar stabbed her arm with the needle and pushed the syringe down.

“no. no. no.” cheryl tried to fight it. she tried to keep her eyes open, and her limbs moving. but everything became too heavy. her eyes fell closed and once again everything went black...

...cheryl opened her eyes. her vision was perfectly clear. she was still in the same room. she felt hands on her legs untying the straps around her ankles. those felt so familiar. toni.

“toni.”

toni stopped what she was doing and immediately ran to cheryl’s head.

“cheryl! cheryl you’re awake!” toni said running her fingers through cheryl’s hair.

“where’s- where’s edgar?”

“i don’t know baby. i found you in here alone. but let’s get out of here before they come back.”

cheryl nodded and toni quickly undid the straps around her wrists and ankles. she helped cheryl up out of the chair she was once strapped to, and wrapped her hand around her waist.

“baby can you stand?”

cheryl nodded and toni threw cheryl’s arm around her shoulder and gripped her wrist and kept her tight hold around her waist as they left the room.

they walked down the hallway cautiously, toni peering around every corner before walking down the hallway.

they could see the front door. it was right there. they were almost home free.

cheryl felt pain in the bend of her left arm. she looked down and saw a circle of blood staining her light blue sweater.

they did that her. they made her have hallucinations. they tired to break her but she stayed strong. and it’s all because of the girl who was holding her so tightly.

“we’re almost there baby.” toni said as they got closer to the door, occasionally looking over her shoulder.

just as they were about to approach the door it was opened and there stood edgar and evelyn.

“shit!” toni turned around to run the other way but the path was blocked by the farmies, including alice, kevin and fangs. 

“fangs?” toni whispered desperately.

“we tried to help you toni.”

toni turned around to face edgar. if it wasn’t for the fact that cheryl was trembling in her arms she would have tried to kick his ass, all of their asses.

“we tried to help you and cheryl. we tried to show you the right path.”

“you tried to force us in a cult! you manipulated us!” toni shouted back.

“i tired to give you purpose! a family! a covering!” edgar shouted, it was the first time she’s ever heard him shout or seen him get angry. “but you ran from us. and  _no one_  runs from us.” edgar said as she stepped closer to them.

“please.” cheryl said weakly. “just let us go.”

“i’m sorry, i can’t do that. once your in the farm you can’t get out. so you either stay willingly or...”

they heard a gun being loaded and their hearts started beating faster as evelyn handed a gun to edgar who then pointed it at them.

“you die... so what’s it gonna be?”

the two of them were silent. they shared a look and their eyes were filled with despair. they turned to look back at the farm leader.

“okay. we’ll stay.” cheryl whispered.

edgar lowered the gun to his side but kept hold of it. he reached his free hand forward and the couple started walking towards him.

“i promise. things will be better here. your life will be bet-“

edgar’s words were cut off when toni punched him in the jaw causing him to stumble backwards and drop the gun.

“cher the gun!”

toni swung at edgar again and he caught her fist and twisted her arm around and grabbed her from behind, and she struggled to break free.

cheryl ran towards the gun but before she could reach, strong arms that belonged to fangs were wrapped around her.

“fangs! fangs this isn’t you!” cheryl shouted as she tried to break free.

evelyn picked up the gun and handed it to edgar.

“we tried to do this easy way.” he said through gritted teeth as toni struggled in his arms. “we tried to help you, give your life meaning, show you your destiny. but you are ungrateful. and we told you what would happen if you try to leave.” edgar presses the gun into toni’s side.

“no! no please!” cheryl shouted.

edgar fires two shots into toni’s side and cheryl releases the most heart breaking scream as toni falls to the floor.

with strength she didn’t know she had she breaks free of fangs’ grip and runs to toni, dropping on her knees next to her. she places a hand on her side as her blood soaks her hand. the other hand cradles the back of her head as toni tried to reach for her and struggles to breathe.

"ch-cheryl." toni choked out.

“toni. toni look at me baby. please. keep your eyes open please. i love you so much please don’t leave me toni. please."

"i- i- l-love you."

"toni please. keep your eyes open baby. keep your eyes open baby please. please. toni. toni!"

toni stops breathing. her eyes freeze, and her body goes stiff. and it’s like cheryl’s life ends right on the spot.

“toni please.” cheryl chokes out.

the love of her life. her soulmate. the reason she breathes. her everything, is gone. was taken from her.

cheryl rests her forehead against toni’s and everything goes black...

...

“did it work?” evelyn asks as she looks down at a no longer fighting cheryl, strapped down to the chair.

“yes.” edgar said as he removed the needle from her arm. “i told you. everyone has a breaking point... she ours now.”

**Author's Note:**

> to be continued...


End file.
